We don’t know much about Joseph. The Bible calls him a tekton, which literally means builder. You’ve probably heard that Joseph was a carpenter, which may be true, but tekton most likely meant craftsman or construction worker.
We know Joseph was engaged to a girl named Mary. Matthew and Luke both tell us they’re engaged – Matthew tells us Joseph’s side of the story, and Luke tells the Christmas story from Mary’s point of view. We’re not told how old they are, but we can assume that Mary was around 13 and Joseph was 16 or 17.
We know the engagement process worked a little different back then. They didn’t change their relationship status on Facebook. They didn’t take any engagement pictures. Joseph and Mary didn’t go to any cake-tastings. They actually took their marriage vows up-front, and then they had to wait a year. Technically they were married, but they weren’t living together yet. And the Bible tells us in Matthew 1:18-25.
A scandal in Nazareth. Mary was pregnant, and Joseph was not the daddy. Can you imagine how that news must have hit him? He’d recently become a man and was preparing to live on his own and support a family. He got engaged to a good girl from a good Jewish family. He introduced her to his family in Bethlehem. They were so proud of him. But this news changed everything: his fiancee Mary was pregnant with another man’s baby.
Joseph had some options here. According to Jewish law, he could have reported Mary to the synagogue and she could have been publicly shamed and punished. If the authorities discovered the identity of the baby’s father, he could be shamed and punished, too. Not only would that have given Joseph the satisfaction of revenge, he would’ve come away with everyone’s sympathy and respect.
Another option Joseph had would’ve been to save face and take Mary as his wife, but secretly harbor his resentment against her for the rest of their lives. He could have held her sin over her head, and anytime she got out of line, he could’ve reminded her of what she did to him. He could silently despise not only Mary, but her son, too; after all, that’s not his kid.
We often overlook the fact that Joseph didn’t have to do what he did. I’m aware that Joseph only got with the program after God spoke to him in a dream, but God didn’t force Joseph to do anything. I believe God speaks to people all the time, and we say, “Thanks, but no thanks.” God gives us that power. So yes, God spoke to Joseph in a dream, but Joseph still could’ve said no. Joseph could have lived a completely different life with a normal wife and kids who all looked like him. He could have avoided all the stress and sacrifice of raising the most important child in the history of the universe.
Instead, Joseph became a teenage husband to his pregnant wife and a devoted stepfather to someone else’s son. Even though he didn’t have to, Joseph claimed the baby as his own. We know this because Matthew makes it very clear that it was Joseph who named the child. In his culture, to name the child was to claim the child. When Joseph held the newborn and said, “His name will be Jesus,” it was basically an adoption ceremony.
This got me thinking about adoptive parents and step-parents who choose to love children who are not biologically theirs. When I think about Joseph, I’m in awe of good step-fathers, step-mothers, and those who foster and adopt, because they choose to love the children they could, in theory, send back or turn away.
Joseph didn’t just tolerate Jesus as an unwanted obligation; he became a father to Jesus. Where do you think Jesus learned how to be a man? Who taught him how to work with his hands? Who sat him down and had the talk when Jesus’ voice started to change? Where do you think Jesus learned things like the value of daily work for daily bread, and putting others’ needs before your own? It was Joseph.
We don’t know exactly when or how Joseph died. I think it was during Jesus’ ministry, which means Joseph probably died in his 40s. He was gone by the time Jesus was crucified, and Mary was there alone, watching her baby die. Just before Jesus breathed his last, he asked his best friend to take care of his mom. Why? Because that’s the kind of man Joseph raised Jesus to be.
My favorite detail about Joseph’s life is something that’s easy to miss: Joseph is one of the greatest heroes in the Bible, but can you guess how many words he said in the scriptures? Zero.
Joseph is a main character with no lines. He lived a quiet, selfless life.
What made Joseph heroic was that he never cared to be a hero.
What made him great was that he was good.
Joseph had many chances to choose himself over everyone else, but time and time again, he stepped up without saying a word, and without need of the spotlight.
The world we live in is constantly tempting us to believe we are the most important people in it. That my hopes and my dreams are all that really matter. Every day, you’re encouraged to think about your own interests and safety before considering anyone else’s. Most of us want to do great things, but we avoid doing good things because they’re hard.
If you want to know what Christmas is all about, it is at least in part about a man who chose to call someone else’s son his own, to love him and raise him as though they shared flesh and blood. We Christians are always striving to be more like Jesus. This Christmas, I hope to be more like Joseph.
