For being such a hopeful book, the Bible has a real knack for making many readers more cynical. People who were raised around Christianity with scant or superficial knowledge of what the Bible says are often disappointed when they actually read it for themselves. When they were kids, some of the people they trusted most, such as their pastors, parents, and friends, made the Bible sound like the ultimate self-help book. Then they grew up and began to experience the confusion and pain brought on by adult life – and where did they turn for help?
The Bible. And what sort of timeless wisdom did they find in its pages to help them cope with the problems they faced? First, they came across the story where God told a guy to kill his own son. Then there were like a hundred pages of random rules and family trees. Something about circumcision, something about prostitution, forty pages on the ins and outs of animal sacrifice, and then something else about prostitution. Lots of warnings about eternal torment.
So they closed their Bibles, rushed to Barnes & Noble, and bought some New Age drivel about finding themselves because at least it wasn’t boring and inapplicable to real, modern-day life.
If you’re not versed in how to read the Bible, you’re bound to feel lost once you actually read it for yourself. Making matters worse are some Christians who give the impression that the Bible is clear and easy to understand, so if you don’t get it, there must be something wrong with you.
A few years back, I was excited about ice skating with my daughter. She told me it would be fun, and I believed her. I had vague memories of being a pretty good ice skater the last time I tried… thirty years ago.
“I’m basically still the same person I was back then,” I lied to myself, “It’s probably like riding a bike!’
The truth is, I’m not the same person I was when I was ten. I weigh over a hundred more pounds now with a much higher center of gravity, and much weaker ankles (as evidenced by all the falling I did), and a much lower tolerance for landing face-down on a sheet of ice in front of two hundred strangers at the Houston Galleria ice skating rink.
I was utterly miserable. I looked like a creepy, human Bambi. Making things worse were the skaters who knew what they were doing. Most of them were children younger than my daughter, and they skated around me like Olympians with their twirls and their lutzes. I could feel them judging me as they jumped over my 6’4”, 200-pound frame sprawled out on the ice.
As I looked around, I found comfort in knowing that I wasn’t alone in my misery; in fact, I appeared to be in the majority. Most of the adults on the ice were trembling, holding onto the side walls for dear life. We were all just wondering how much longer we had to stay out there to feel like we got our money’s worth.
And then I realized this must be how most people feel when they pick up a Bible and try to read it: confused and embarrassed about how bad at it they are. When they were kids, it seemed so much simpler, and clearly it’s still fun and easy for some people. So they think to themselves, “Maybe I’m doing it wrong, or maybe the Bible just isn’t for me.”
They put down their Bibles and look around, and they begin to realize they aren’t alone. Just like me and all the other helpless 40-year olds on the ice, they realize they’re in the majority. They may even find comfort in the fact that most people actually don’t get the Bible. Almost overnight, their feelings of inadequacy dissolve into a newfound certainty that the Bible is the real problem. It’s old, unclear, irrelevant, and uninspired.
Failure to understand the Bible leads to frustration which quickly gives way to apathy. Just like I plan to never go near an ice skating rink again, many people who have tried and failed to find life’s most important answers in the Bible plan to never open it again.
If that describes you or someone you love, let me first simply say this: I get it. I really do. The Bible can be super-confusing. But may I also suggest that the real issue could be your preconceived assumptions about the Bible, and not the book itself. The Bible has been woven into our shared social fabric for so long that we often superimpose our traditional interpretations about scripture without doing our homework first. Much of what we think is in there, isn’t, and some things we never expected to find in there, are.
Surprising Things That Are Not in the Bible
• The Infamous Apple in the Garden of Eden (the Bible just says “fruit.” I’m guessing it was those Holiday Grapes from Central Market because who could resist those?)
• “Cleanliness is next to godliness.” (Your grandmother lied to you.)
• The idea that all women should submit to all men. (The Bible calls Christian wives to submit to their husbands – and Christian husbands to submit even more to our wives – by loving them like Christ loves His bride [the Church])
• Angels with halos. (I have no idea where halos came from but it wasn’t the Bible)
• Angels with wings. (Don’t be disappointed when you get to heaven and find Gabriel is wingless like the rest of us)
• Chubby little naked baby angels. (Not biblical. Creepy.)
• Petite blonde angels. (The Bible never says what the angels looked like, but wherever angels show up in scripture, the most common reaction from people is fear. So I kinda doubt the angels were the 5’6″ blonde cheerleader types we often see in Christian art.)
• Female angels. (Sorry ladies. The only angels mentioned in the Bible are dudes.)
• “God will never give you more than you can handle.” (Not biblical. Harmful on several levels. Probably a misquote of 1 Corinthians 10:13)
• Mary Magdalene was a prostitute. (Not sure who started this rumor. Maybe her high school boyfriend’s ex girlfriend? In any case, not true.)
• “God helps those who help themselves.” (I believe that’s from Benjamin Franklin who, ironically, acted more like a prostitute than Mary Magdalene ever did. He “helped himself” to several “low women who fell in [his] way” [his words, not mine].)
When it comes to some of the major themes of the Bible, there’s a gap between what people think the Bible says, and what it actually says. But if we’re being honest, that’s on us, not the Bible. Unless we’re being intellectually lazy or just stubborn, knowing about this gap should lead us to want to explore the Bible for ourselves – to see with our own eyes what is there, and what isn’t.
Here’s my advice:
• Get yourself a good study Bible with sound commentary. I recommend this one, but there are plenty of good ones out there.
• Don’t go it alone! The Bible was written by a community of authors, in and for a community of believers. Get connected with a group of other people who are studying the Bible together. We try to make that easy at The Story.
• Never stop asking questions. You’re going to hit a wall once in a while. Stick with it. Don’t give up. Jesus promised that you’ll find whatever you seek (Matthew 7:7). If you keep seeking the Truth, you’ll find it!
